You might think your spouse is mostly scared, when actually he or she feels more sad or perhaps guilty about the consequences of the cancer for you. How can we best reach out for the support we need?ĭo not assume that you know what your spouse is thinking or feeling about the cancer, or that you know what he or she needs from you.What does our family need in the way of support and practical help from relatives, friends, and our religious community?.What changes do we need to make in our daily routine to accommodate the need for treatments and to deal with side effects?.
What should we tell our children, and how can we best help them in dealing with this frightening situation?.What roles or division of labor should we take in learning about these matters?.Are there clinical trials to consider, or perhaps complementary or holistic approaches?.What is the best treatment, and what are the pros and cons of different options?.Here are some of the specific issues that you should try to face together:
It can be tremendously reassuring and comforting to your loved one to know that the two of you are facing the illness together and that your support and involvement will be steadfast and unwavering regardless of what happens. You are both challenged to find constructive ways of dealing with the disruptions and threats posed by cancer and with the side effects of medical treatments. You are sharing many of the same emotions and concerns. Your life is being disrupted in many of the same ways. Although your spouse has cancer, the illness is really happening to both of you.
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